


O. Lover

by orphan_account



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Rush (2013)
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-12 00:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By chance, restaurant manager Niki stumbles into a quiet coffee shop on a rainy day. In there, he meets the sweet Marlene, whose conversations make the rest of his week a little brighter, and James, whose bold personality is an endless source of irritation at first, and eventually fascination. </p><p>Based on the song O. Lover by Jason Mraz, which should really be about F1 drivers rather than cigarettes. Seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Top and Matching Bottoms

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Okay, I haven't written ~romance~ fic in a really long time. I'm still kinda freaked out by the prospect of writing about real people, so don't expect outright porn without plot (sorry!). 
> 
> I respect Niki/James/Marlene HUGELY, and am not writing this for any weird reasons. I'm just using their personalities/likeness for the sake of wanting to write about them because they're incredibly interesting people. I also don't believe Rathunt ever happened, etc etc.

             

I: Red Top and Matching Bottoms

 

 

             Niki’s full motivation for entering Watkins Glen Coffeehouse was the rain. It was sudden, torrential, and icily cold, and he had forgotten his jacket when he left work for lunch. He ducked his head into the door, lightly shaking water from his dripping hair, which had begun to curl more severely than usual due to it becoming damp in the weather. Niki irritably pushed it back from his forehead, where it abruptly fell back into place, flinging water into his eyes. He gave up, and wandered towards the counter, which boasted a selection of the strange ‘toasties’ that the English loved so much. Niki never understood why they couldn’t just call them a toasted sandwich, like everybody else with a brain in their head. He’d moved to England over six years ago to study, and had ended up so enamoured with the country that he applied for a Visa six months before finishing his course. His family had been none too pleased with this decision, but Niki was never entirely bothered about their opinions.

             His ambition upon arriving was to become a chef, and perhaps open his own restaurant. Niki’s theory was that great cooking was all about precision, down to the last milligram of seasoning and the last millisecond of time spent in the oven. Despite being slightly average in the classroom, Niki had always had a great talent for meticulousness and accuracy, which led to him inevitably developing a tendency towards perfectionism. He didn’t think this was a bad thing at all – in fact, he viewed it as a pretty good quality to have. He acquired himself a degree in chemistry, and began to work his way up the culinary ladder, while doing a part time culinary course. He’d done surprisingly well – in three short years he’d become the manager of Nordschleife, a small bistro which specialised in mostly Dutch and German food. While Niki enjoyed working there, and while the salary was good, he knew that Nordschleife wouldn’t last too long as a business. It was a small, slightly shabby building which was situated in between a cheap Italian place and a Michelin star restaurant. Plus, the Germans weren’t exactly famous for cooking. Niki had been asked if he was ‘related to Hitler’ enough times to have realised that long ago. Even though nobody seemed to remember that Adolf Hitler was Austrian. But then again, so was Niki, so it all evened out.

            Niki fished a cheese and tomato ‘toastie’ from the self, and a banana yoghurt, before examining the wide selection of coffee on offer. He wasn’t usually a drinker of coffee – he much preferred tea – but he figured he may aswell conform for a change. He shuffled along to the till, and placed his toastie onto the countertop. “Could I have these, and maybe try a... uh... a _chai latte?_ Sorry, did I say it right?”  
The woman behind the counter chuckled. It was a sweet, gentle sound. “Yes, you did. And you absolutely can, if you’re willing to wait a couple of minutes for our so-called barista to finish checking out his reflection in the milk frother.” She’d raised her voice as she said this, catching the attention of a young man who was indeed checking himself out in the reflection of a metal jug.  
“Oh! Sorry, Marlene. I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my own beauty.”  
“Yes, yes, you’re simply divine. Now can we have a chai latte to sit in, please? And put this toastie on the grill.” She turned back to Niki, rolling her eyes, “I’ll bring your drink and sandwich over to you as soon as they’re ready. You don’t mind waiting, do you? I’ll need your name, too.”  
“No, of course not! I have my yoghurt to keep me going. And my name’s Niki.” He smiled, and handed Marlene a £20 note. Another thing which amazed Niki so much about the English; they were so willing to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a cup of hot water and milk with a bit of flavour thrown in.

            After about five minutes spent reading and occasionally glancing at the charmingly mismatched furnishings in the shop, Niki spotted Marlene walking towards him, with a steaming paper cup in one hand and a plate in the other. She set them down in front of him with a genuine smile, sneaking a glance at the book he was reading.  
“I saw that,” Niki quipped, without raising his head. He heard her tinkling laugh ring out as she made her way back to the counter. He looked up for a moment, and watched her tug playfully on the ear of the blond man who had been checking himself out earlier. He laughed loudly, showing off a massive grin. Niki shook his head lightly and picked up his toastie. As he bit into it, hot cheese oozed out of the bread and into his mouth. Delicious. He’d devoured that in a few minutes, and moved onto his coffee. He’d heard of chai before – apparently it was an acquired taste. He tentatively put it to his lips, and took a sip. His mouth pursed a little as the coffee slid down his throat. It was lightly spicy – a little bitter, but also a little sweet. He could taste that some cinnamon had been sprinkled on top. It turned out that chai was really quite lovely. He took another swig, and put the cup down on the table. And then, Niki spotted the name that was written on the cup. Irritation boiled in his chest, and he felt his jaw set. Shaking his head again, Niki leaned back in his chair, only to almost fall out of it in shock. Marlene was standing directly in front of him, an amused expression on her face.  
“ _Mein Gott, sie –_ oh, I’m so sorry, I meant –“  
“I know. I speak German. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She said, in German. Her eyes sparkled with humour, and she was still smiling.  
“Oh! You’re German?”  
She nodded. “And you’re Austrian.”  
“You have a good ear.”  
“I know. Did he get your name wrong on the cup?”  
Niki sighed, staring at the cup once more, where the name _Nicky_ was printed in large, black marker. “Yeah, he did. I’m guessing it was Adonis over there who wrote it?”  
Marlene laughed indulgently. “Yes, it was. Don’t worry, he does it to everyone. He wrote Martin on mine for the first two weeks that I worked here.”  
“Martin?” Niki was laughing now, too, “And your name was what, Marlene?”  
“Yes!” Marlene said, not hiding her pleasure at Niki remembering her name. “I’m sorry, I’m not interrupting your time, am I? It’s just always so quiet on Wednesdays, and James is the kind of guy you can take in very small doses.”  
Niki suddenly felt very guilty at the thought that he may have seemed in any way cold towards this girl. “No, honestly! I kind of relish normal conversation after a three hour lunch service where I have to deal with snooty customers.”  
“You work in a restaurant?” Marlene enquired, sitting when Niki offered her the seat opposite him.  
“Yeah. I’m the manager at the Nordschleife.”  
She seemed impressed. “But you’re so young!”  
Niki smiled at her. “I just turned 25, so yes, I guess I am. I hit on lucky – the manager left last year and I was the most experienced one there. Being a native German speaker also helps.” He took a long drink from his latte. “This is lovely, by the way. Do you make them?”  
“Nope. James does.”  
Niki almost spat the latte out. “Seriously? But he seems like he couldn’t mix anything other than a martini!”  
Marlene laughed again, loudly. “Oh, he can mix them too, believe me. It’s crazy, he’s actually really talented. They’re all his own recipes, too. The only things he doesn’t make are the sandwiches and the yoghurts that you like so much.”  
“They’re healthy!” Niki exclaimed, feeling a twinge of insult. He did love his yoghurt.  
Marlene shook her head jokingly, chuckling again.  
“Are you seriously having fun with that beautiful creature without me?” Came a deep, bold voice from across the room. Niki felt a flush rise up his neck.  
“Do you always talk about her like that, asshole?” He challenged, scowling at James as he strutted across the cafe. He noticed the uniform then – black v-neck t-shirt, and a brilliant red jumpsuit that looked curiously like a stylish version of Formula 1 racing overalls. James had opened the top part of his, and had tied it around his waist by the sleeves.  
Marlene leaned over, and said, in English this time, “He’s talking about _you._ ”  
Niki stared, dumbfounded, at her. She was pressing her lips together in an attempt to avoid smiling. He rolled his eyes. “Good joke, Spelling Bee 2014.”  
“Who’s joking?” James pulled up a chair and sat down at Niki’s table. His blue eyes were twinkling with amusement, and his mouth was pulled upwards in a very large grin. “Now would you kindly tell me what a Spelling Bee is?”  
“It’s because you spelled his name wrong on the cup, as per usual.”  
“What? But his name’s Nicky. How did I spell it wrong?”  
“It’s Niki.” Niki said shortly.  
“Yeah, that’s what I wrote! Nicky!”  
“I think my lunch hour is nearly over. It was nice meeting you, Marlene.” Niki smiled at Marlene, and made a sort of grimace at James. It was a _polite_ grimace, at least. He picked up his rubbish, taking one last angry look at the cup bearing ‘ _Nicky’_ before tossing it into the bin and storming out of the shop.

            Walking towards the restaurant with his hands drove deep into the pockets of his blazer, Niki realised that he’d very much enjoyed his lunch that day. It was certainly far more entertaining and pleasant than forcing himself to eat the food cooked by the restaurant, and listen to the mindless chatter of the egotistical owners and the lazy chefs. It was no wonder that the servers always ate out, or went home for lunch. He’d also relished the peace and quiet. He resolved to go again next Wednesday, and see if Marlene was right about the shop being quiet. If she was indeed correct, his motivation for visiting would become Marlene’s company, and the Wednesday.   


	2. The Silent Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You might be the silent type, but you're appetising louder now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHA DON'T EXPECT UPDATES THIS FAST EVER. Seriously. I'm a disgrace with updates, I'm just on a roll today. 
> 
> Also this one is kinda... short. I didn't really anticipate writing from James' POV rather than Niki's, and in all honesty I don't think I'll make it a thing. I find Niki waaaay easier to empathise with than James, and way more of an interesting narrative to write. But I dunno, that might change. Early days.

**_2: The Silent Type_ **

****

          “Marlene!” James exclaimed as soon as Niki had slouched out of the shop, “Who was that lovely thing? I want to keep him in my wardrobe.”  
“Now, James. I’m sure Niki isn’t like the rest of your conquests.”  
“Exactly! Which is why I want to ensure he doesn’t leave in the morning.”  
Marlene scoffed, and made her way back to the counter. “Provided he actually wants to spend a second of his time with you – you certainly didn’t make a good impression.”  
“I was charming!”  
“You were annoying.”  
James pouted. “I’m hurt! It always works in clubs.”  
“On desperate girls who have already had two pitchers of Skittles, have cried in the toilets twice, and have phoned their ex-boyfriends innumerable times, begging for _one more chance._ ”  
“Alright, alright! Christ, I get your point. You’re so brutal at times, Marlene.”

          Niki came to the shop again next Wednesday. Today it was sunny, so his hair wasn’t stuck to his face in the adorable way that it was last week. James was almost upset at this, until he eyed the messy and fluffy curls that sat on top of Niki’s head. How ironic, that someone so rigid would have such wild hair. It was clear that he hated it, as he constantly fidgeted with it and tried to get it to sit neatly. He wore a slim fitted navy suit, with a light blue shirt underneath. James noted that he wore no tie, and had the first two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned. Niki waved casually at Marlene, avoiding James’ eyes completely, and set about picking out his sandwich and yoghurt. James looked over, and watched him pick a vanilla yoghurt, and a ham and cheese toastie. “Hiya, Niki,” Marlene sang, “What you gonna try today?”  
“Well, a friend of mine recommended a caramel macchiato. Do you do those?”  
“We do,” James butted in, leaning over the counter with the intent of staring into Niki’s eyes. He had to look away almost instantly. They were the type of eyes to drive anyone wild; aquamarine in colour and so _intense_ and _focused_ that looking into them made James feel like his lungs had been pierced, and were deflating all too rapidly. He took a discreet, but sharp breath. “But don’t you think they’d be a little... sweet, for someone like you?”  
Niki’s jaw set, and he scowled. “You’re lucky you make such a good coffee, asshole.”  
Marlene shot James a warning glance, which told him to _get lost and do his job._ So he did, and set about making the best macchiato he could muster. Anything to impress Niki, since apparently his personality didn’t do the job. James didn’t _understand;_ why was Niki immune to his charms? Even if he was straight it would be irrelevant, James had turned straight men before. He’d at least made them _like_ him. Perhaps it was Niki’s indifference which made him all the more desirable. In an impulsive move fuelled by irritation, James wrote “ _Kraut”_ on Niki’s cup, making sure to turn it the wrong way around when he handed it to Marlene along with the toastie.

          He watches with great interest as Niki receives his lunch. He smiles thinly – and it is then that James notices that he’s deliberately trying not to _really_ smile – and says something to Marlene in German. James silently curses them both for speaking a language that he really doesn’t understand, but at the same time listening to Niki’s surprisingly deep voice as he speaks his native tongue so confidently is a lovely sound. Marlene sits down next to Niki, and James supposes that he’s invited her to sit with him again, like she did last week. While she is saying something to him, Niki is sinking his teeth into his toastie. He’d already devoured his yoghurt in record time, long before the cheese had melted under the grill. His teeth are a little larger than normal, his incisors particularly prominent. Perhaps that is the reason why he doesn’t smile much? Or even speak much, for that matter. He only really talks when questioned, and seems to prefer to listen. James shakes the thought from his head, getting very irritated at himself for trying to depict Niki as a delicate flower with self confidence issues just to make him more likeable. That was the problem; Niki wasn’t exactly likeable, but he _was._ And then, the moment James was anxiously waiting for arrives. Niki picks up his coffee, and takes a drink. His pleased expression hints that he enjoys the beverage itself, but James almost howls with laughter when he notices what’s written on the side, and snorts so hard that the coffee streams out of his nose. Marlene gasps with horror as Niki yelps in pain and scrabbles for a napkin to wipe his face, and when she reads the cup, sends a deathly glare at James. For once, she genuinely looked annoyed. James almost feels guilty when he spots how red Niki’s nose has become due to being scalded. But, when Niki sits back down as if nothing has happened, James’ guilt switches to fury, and he has no idea why.

          For the rest of the 45 minutes that Niki spends in the shop, James sulks behind the counter. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was mostly annoyed that he didn’t get his attention. James also suddenly finding himself feeling a slight hatred for Marlene, for actually having Niki’s attention. What if it was her that he liked? He wouldn’t blame Niki – Marlene was probably one of the prettiest girls he’d met (while sober, at least.), and she was elegant and lovely and kind. Which was probably the reason why James had never attempted to woo her. He imagined Niki and Marlene walking arm in arm down a street, and it made sense. James and Niki, however, did not make any sense at all. James notices Niki and Marlene exchange what appears to be their phone numbers, and he knows that his chances, however slim they were before, were now non-existent. He’s not usually someone to feel let down by losing a prospective catch, but there’s something about Niki. How can he be so serious and closed and yet so endearing? James shakes these thoughts from his mind when Niki stops at the counter, right in front of him. He slams the cup down, _Kraut_ end facing James, and snaps, “For the record, I’m Austrian.”  


	3. Draw the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are we sitting around in the meditation, dragging, chasing, wondering who's holding? Who's got the will to draw the line?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 UPDATES IN ONE DAY STOP IT, I wouldn't even believe this if I'd been told it this morning. But it's like 2AM now. Must be a good little girl and pop to bed. Although I already have an idea for the next, like, six chapters. I need to be stopped, this fic will ruin me.

**_3: Draw the Line_ **

                It was a Sunday morning, and Niki was standing nervously in front of the mirror in his bedroom, holding two jumpers up to himself. One, a bright red v-neck made from cashmere, and the other a simple and thin grey one. He had already decided on wearing a casual white shirt underneath and black jeans, but was in two minds about the jumpers. Marlene had invited him to a picnic, and while Niki was delighted to spend time with her, he was worried that she was expecting too much of him. He didn’t want this to seem like a _date,_ but at the same time he wanted to make an effort for his new friend, especially in case he was wrong about her. The red, while pleasant against his skin, might seem like he was making too much of an effort. Also, with the fair weather, he might get too hot. The grey, while more casual due to its thinner material, made him look very serious and formal – perhaps too formal for a simple ramble in a field. Eventually, when the temperature read as 15 degrees on his Met Office app, Niki threw caution to the wind and went with the grey. Besides, he could always explain to Marlene if anything went wrong. He just didn’t want to hurt her in any way, for she was truly one of the kindest people he’d ever had the fortune to meet.

                When Niki arrived at the local park, Marlene was already waiting for him. He was suddenly bashful at the fact that she had arrived first, and instantly enquired whether she’d been waiting long. She shook her head no with a smile, and lead Niki over to an open area where the sun beamed down on the freshly cut grass and daffodils which grew there. He helped her set out a blanket, and the nibbles, and they sat across from each other. In the gentle sunlight, Marlene was radiant; her deep blue dress clung to her body attractively, and her dark hair was pulled into the loose bun that she always wore it in, the stray wisps of hair blowing slightly whenever there was a breeze. It was moments like this when Niki desperately wanted to be in love with her, for she was a creature who deserved love unlike any other.   
“You brought yoghurt,” He chuckled, picking out a whole six-pack of the stuff from the basket.  
She nodded. “I remember things like that. Then again, it’s awfully hard to forget. You look very different out of your suits!” Marlene smiled at him, large brown eyes twinkling.   
“And you look very different out of your uniform! Much less like a mechanic.”  
“Ah, yes. Our manager is a very avid motorsports fan. It’s quite ridiculous, really, I don’t see the connection between Formula 1 and coffee.”  
Niki’s eyes widened with realisation. “Watkins Glen Coffeehouse...” He murmured, “It’s named after the racetrack!”  
“Yes. Are you a fan?”  
“Oh, very much so,” Niki enthused, “In all honesty, I would have gone into driving myself if it wasn’t so difficult these days. It’s all about how much money you have and how early you start, rather than how talented and dedicated you are. It’s such a shame.”  
“Didn’t you tell me that your family was very wealthy? Surely they would finance you.” From anyone else, this would sting Niki, but Marlene said it so gently that he only felt a little sadness.   
“Oh, no. My family wanted me to be there when they handed the business down, and refused to finance anything else for me. That’s why I came to university a year late – I was saving up.”  
“Oh. I’m sorry, Niki. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”  
“It’s fine, really. You couldn’t have realised that it was a sensitive subject.”  
They sat in silence for a few minutes then, concentrating on eating. Marlene was examining a daffodil that was next to her, and Niki people watched.   
“How’s your nose, by the way?” Marlene asked, a tiny hint of amusement in her voice.  
“My nose?” Niki touched his nose for a moment to make sure there was nothing on it, before he remembered. “Oh! My nose! It’s alright. Needs a bit of Vaseline occasionally, but it’s fine. Doesn’t hurt.”  
“I really am sorry about James. He’s an idiot at times. He was sorry too, wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the day after that happened. He has a funny way of showing regret.” Marlene looked upwards fondly, clearly envisaging James’ mood after Niki had left the shop.

                They continued talking well into the afternoon, and when the sun was beginning to disappear behind the trees Niki and Marlene decided to call it a day, and pack up. “So, will we be seeing you again next Wednesday?” She asked, as she tucked the blanket under her arm.   
“Yeah, definitely. I don’t think I’ll be tired of your place for a while. You’re a nice girl, and James is... an interesting man.” Except James was a little more than interesting to Niki. He hated to admit it, since he was so obnoxious, but Niki was strangely drawn to him. When he’d slammed his coffee cup down and stormed out last Wednesday after spitting out a childish remark about him being Austrian, Niki had realised that he’d wanted to stay by that counter much longer. He wanted to get to know James, he wanted to prove to him that he wasn’t quite as serious or as rude as he seemed to be. Niki desperately wanted to be fun and amusing for James, and make him laugh with him rather than at his expense. And, yes, he was very good looking in a conventional way; well built, with long dirty blonde hair, a strong jaw and bright, mischievous blue eyes. But Niki knew his type. He was far too clever, and respected himself far too much to get involved with a playboy like that. Especially one who got on his nerves so much.

                Niki was helping Marlene load her stuff into the boot of the car when she said something funny, and Niki completely forgot himself and laughed; all teeth and squinty eyes. Niki didn’t exactly mind having large teeth, but having people look at them or make fun of them was irritating, so he tried to keep them hidden. Yes, that made him look very serious and often foreboding, but that was also fine with Niki as long as he knew the truth about himself. Marlene looked up at him, and he was suddenly very aware of how close they were. “You should smile more often, Niki. It suits you better.” He could actually feel her breath ghosting on his cheeks. Niki sighed. It was now, or never.   
“Look, Marlene,” He began, already hating himself, “I think you might have the wrong idea...”  
She looked at him quizzically.   
“You’re an incredible person, but I’m not-“  
“-Oh my God, Niki, please don’t tell me we’re having this conversation!” Marlene chortled, putting a hand over her mouth to stifle the noise. When she’d quietened herself, she looked directly at him, though still with an amused expression. “Niki. Darling, you’re gorgeous. But you’re also a very big gay.”  
Relief flowed over Niki’s body like a cold breeze. “You knew?”  
“All along. You dress far too well, and you file your nails.”  
Niki bristled. “I have to file them! I work in a restaurant!”  
“Yes, but you don’t have to shape them, too.” Her eyes were bright with humour, and she was clearly fighting down laughter.  
“So, this was all for friendship?” Niki clarified, attempting to keep from laughing himself now.  
“It absolutely was. Sorry if I confused you at all, I’m honestly like this with everybody. I think you’d be surprised if I told you who really liked you.”  
It was Niki’s turn to look confused then. What did she mean by that? Did they have a mutual friend that Niki wasn’t aware of? She couldn’t possibly have meant James... could she? Before he could ask, Niki had forced himself to walk very briskly away from Marlene and towards his car.  


	4. Contradictions to Quitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, God only knows our contradictions to quitting is a hate to love relationship thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, okay so apparently there's another coffee shop AU that I didn't even know about?! Seriously, on the same night I posted the first chapter I started scrolling and found The Best Soy Latte You Ever Had and Me. Man, I was hooked. Read the thing in a night. But honestly, I legit had no idea about that fic before I wrote it - I promise I'm not copying! Although I kinda wish I'd had the hipster!Niki idea first... because reasons.
> 
> And in case you guys didn't notice, I have decided to make the alternating POVs a thing. So this is from James'. I have literally no idea why, it just happened. Go with it, kiddies.

_ 4: Contradictions to Quitting _

                “I didn’t know you liked Slade.” James had been wiping down tables for a change when he overheard the music quietly coming from Niki’s earphones. Niki looked up, and James swore that he saw him gulp when he noticed who was speaking to him. He removed the earphones and shrugged apologetically. “I said I didn’t know you liked Slade,” James repeated, smiling slightly.   
“Oh. Sorry, yeah I do. I kind of live in the ‘70s and ‘80s in terms of taste in music.” He said, a little bashfully. Marlene was in the back when Niki had arrived that Wednesday, doing the monthly stock take. Therefore, he’d sat straight down after ordering and plugged his ears with headphones, losing himself in a book. James had been doing a pretty good job of avoiding him until he walked past and heard the music.   
“There’s nothing wrong with that. I prefer the harder stuff myself. Thin Lizzy, Hendrix. Maiden.”  
Niki nodded appreciatively. “I like them too. I can only listen to Maiden properly when I’m in a really bad mood, though.”  
“Aren’t you always in a bad mood?”  
Then, Niki did something that James had never seen him do. He laughed. As he did so, his eyes crinkled to the point where they seemed to be shut altogether, and his teeth practically touched his chin. “No, not always. On occasion I can be mildly content.” He looked directly up at James, eyes bright and inviting, and that silly smile still present on his face. Seeing this loveable side of Niki made it even harder to give up on him. Against his better judgement, James sat opposite Niki at his table.   
“Did I spell your name right this time?”  
Niki turned his cup around, reading the black marker. James had written ‘ _Nickie,’_ after searching for different variations of the name on the previous night. He had thought he was right, but Niki shook his head.   
“It’s N-I-K-I.” _Niki._ It suited him so beautifully.   
“Is that short for something? Nikita, perhaps?” James flashed him a grin.   
Niki quirked an eyebrow, and pressed his tongue against the bottom of his front teeth. “Nikolaus.”  
“How disgustingly German. Austrian, sorry.”  
“In the same way that James is disgustingly British.”  
“It’s kingly!”  
Niki scoffed, smirking at James. Then the sound of the door to the back room shutting alerted them both, and the moment was lost. Marlene trotted towards them, and sat on the table.   
“You two look like you’re getting along for a change!” She said, ruffling James’ hair.   
“Oh, barely.” Niki replied, but he was smiling all the same.

                They sat and talked for a while, which was oddly pleasant for the entire party. Niki seemed a lot calmer, and more laid back than how he usually was with James; it was a nice change. He smiled more often, laughed at James’ jokes, and genuinely seemed happy to be sat down in an empty coffee shop with two people he barely knew. In fact, he appeared to belong there.   
“Oh! Niki, Niki, Niki!” Marlene chirped excitedly, jumping off the table and kneeling next to him.  
“What? What on earth is so important?” Niki cried, feigning horror.  
“You know how it’s Christmas soon?”  
“Oh, I don’t want anything, if that’s what you mean.”  
“No, it’s not, you idiot. Besides, I’m getting you something whether you want it or not!” Niki rolled his eyes and shot her a pained expression, but Marlene ignored it, “We’re having a staff party on Friday night, and we’re allowed plus-ones. Come with us!”  
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude...” He was suddenly shy, looking at his feet and shuffling in his chair.   
“Positive,” James chimed in, “It’ll be a laugh. You’ll get to meet the commander-in-chief; it’s at his ridiculous mansion.”  
Niki still seemed apprehensive. “What’s the address? And I’ll need the owner’s name. You know, just for politeness’ sake.” _For politeness’ sake. Could he get any more adorably old-fashioned?_ James shook his head bemusedly, but wrote down Alexander’s address all the same, with _‘Lord Alexander Hesketh’_ printed at the bottom. With any luck, he might experience Niki fumbling for what the appropriate pleasantries were for greeting a Lord.   
“Now, are you sure you spelled it right?” Niki asked, fake condescension tinting the tone of his voice. James clouted him around the back of the head, and stormed back towards the counter, trying his utmost to forget just how soft Niki’s curls were.

                “Oh my God, Marlene. You’re a genius of the highest order. Inviting Niki to the _staff party._ I could kiss you. This will be hilarious.” James was practically dancing around the shop while he and Marlene were packing up for the night.   
“James. Don’t pick on him, alright? I know how you get when you, Alistair and Bubbles get on it.”  
“ _On it?_ Did you just use some actual English slang? I am proud of you, young Padawan learner.”  
“Shut up, you’ve never even seen Star Wars.”  
“And you have?” James quipped.  
“I’ve seen one or two.”  
“The prequels don’t count.” He’d been lectured by Bubbles enough to at least know that. Marlene’s silence told him all he needed to know. “Can I at least get him drunk?”  
“I’m sure he can manage to drink all by himself, James.”  
“But he’s so... he’s so _Niki._ How can we expect him to make a move on you if we only have to rely on him to do it? We need a helping hand in the form of tequila shots.” Pain shot through James like an electric shock as he said that. But he had to. Maybe the only way to get Niki out of his mind was to pair him off with someone who deserved him.   
But Marlene froze, and when she turned to face James her expression was not one of happiness or anticipation. In fact, he couldn’t read it at all. “What makes you think _I’m_ the one Niki likes?”  
“Wait a minute.” It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, “If it’s not you, who does he like? Do we know her?”  
Marlene hesitated for a moment, but in the end decided not to say a word.


	5. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Weekend, party's over. Don't stop, let's get closer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY IS THIS CHAPTER SO LONG??? I DON'T KNOW!!!!

**_5: Closer_ **

                Niki had to admit, he was nervous. He’d been to staff parties for his own workplace many times before, but in this instance he knew nobody other than Marlene and James. What if they left him? Niki had no doubt that James would wander off, so was prepared for that, but wasn’t entirely ready to react if Marlene left him alone. He wasn’t exactly against being by himself, but Niki was admittedly somewhat self conscious about being seen alone in a crowd of people who all had company. He detested the thought of being laughed at.

                He parked his Mini Cooper a couple of minutes away from the house James had directed him to, and the sheer size of the place was already making Niki feel very small indeed. It was three stories high, made from thick grey stone, and had a garden larger than any Niki had ever seen, which included a hedge maze. Impossibly, it was even bigger than his Grandfather’s house back in Vienna. It occurred to him that the Hesketh family must be incredibly ‘old money.’ While still lost in thought, Niki heard another car with a very similar engine roar up behind him, overtaking his stationary car with dangerous closeness and parking directly in front. It was a deep blue, with two large spots on each of the two doors. Out of the car, stepped James, smoking a cigarette and wearing double denim.  
“Jesus, James. Were you trying to kill me?” Niki snapped, storming towards him.  
James turned around, and feigned surprise. “Niki! Fancy seeing you here!” He smiled hugely, nipping the cigarette between his teeth to keep it from falling from his mouth.  
Niki rolled his eyes, and tossed James one of the two bottles of red wine that he’d fished out of the car. James looked at it, clearly confused. “Wine? You do realise that Alexander has his own cellar for that kind of thing, right?”  
“It’s polite, asshole.” Although, Niki really knew that one of the bottles was meant as a gift for James all along.  
“Hmph. You and your etiquette. We have the same car! I almost got it in red, too, actually. That would have been awkward.”  
“Hardly. I wouldn’t have got those stupid spots on my doors.”  
“They’re stylish!”  
“They’re silly.” But Niki said it with a smile.  
“Ooooh, is this the rat you’ve been telling us so much about?” An unfamiliar voice piped up, as three other men got out of the car. Niki hadn’t even noticed that they were there.  
“Rat? You refer to me to your friends as rat?” Niki felt like a balloon filled with red mist had just exploded in his chest.  
“Would you prefer darling?” James sniped, and his friends guffawed.  
“I’d much prefer Niki, since it’s my name. Then again, it took you three weeks just to get _that_ right, so I’m counting my blessings.” One of James’ friends, a tall man with a marvellous black moustache, sniggered at this, but the other two kept loyally quiet. “Would you like to introduce me to your charming friends?”  
“Oh! This is Bubbles, he works weekends. Clay, who works pretty much every day apart from Wednesday,” Clay, the one with the moustache, actually shook Niki’s hand and offered him a smile, “And Alistair, who used to be an assistant manager but left in favour of a job with BP – lucky rascal. Spends most of his time in Brazil now.” Alistair winked, and began making his way to the house, the others following.

“I heard you literally only come in on Wednesdays,” Clay said as the group walked up the path, “Otherwise I probably would have met you by now. Marlene tells me that you’ve been coming every week for the past month.”  
“Yeah. I like the quiet. Plus I work in a restaurant myself, so getting out of eating the chef’s cooking is way too difficult a feat for me to accomplish more than once a week.”  
Clay laughed. “I worked in one too, when I was younger. It’s not my favourite workplace environment, I must say. James tells me you’re German?”  
“It sounds like James tells his friends a lot of strange things about me,” Niki scoffed, “I’m Austrian.”  
“Ah! Then I understand how it feels to have everyone think you’re from somewhere else. I’m Swiss, you see. People think I’m Italian for some strange reason,” He said, twirling his moustache conspicuously as he did so.  
“I can’t imagine why,” Niki replied with a chortle, glad he’d found someone so agreeable so quickly.

                The grand Hesketh manor seemed even huger up close, soaring above the group, and revealing an actual tower on the right hand side of the building. In the driveway stood a pristine 1984 Ferrari GTO, which was almost begging Niki to touch it. “Oh my God,” He breathed, “There were only 272 of those produced. Like, _ever._ ”  
Clay probably raised his eyebrows, but Niki wouldn’t have noticed. “I didn’t have you pinned as a petrol head.”  
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”  
“James was right about you, you’re definitely interesting.”  
Niki narrowed his eyes at Clay. James talked about him way too often for his liking. When he took a glance at James, Niki noticed that he was already drinking from the wine bottle that Niki had handed him earlier. He was suddenly very thankful that he’d kept the more expensive bottle to himself. The massive, heavy mahogany front door opened with a loud bang, revealing a short, chubby man wearing a Burberry suit, complete with velvet elbow patches and a white carnation sticking out of the pocket of his jacket. Niki tried to hide his laughter with a cough – he had to be the most pompous man he had ever seen. He had a woman on each side of him: one was Marlene, who looked ethereal in a flowing white dress, which had a neckline so low that you could probably see the colour of her underwear if she bent over enough, and the other was a willowy blonde Niki had never seen before. She wasn’t exactly the conventional idea of beautiful, but her presence gave off a sense of such grace that you couldn’t help but be enamoured by her. “Hello, Superstar!” Alexander yelled, trotting down the marble steps to greet James with a slap on the back. “Now, where’s this adorable German fellow you keep telling me about?”  
Niki felt his ears turn pink. He was becoming very interested in these fables James kept telling his friends about him.  
“This is him. And he’s actually Austrian – he gets very insulted if you say he’s German.” Before Niki could realise it, he was being ushered towards Alexander. He stuck out his hand stiffly, and Alexander shook it.  
“So are you actually a Lord, or has James been spinning stories about you too?” Niki jibed, hoping that the shaking in his voice wasn’t noticeable.  
Thankfully, Alexander laughed and grasped his shoulder. “All true, I’m afraid, my dear. I’m a horrible and portly upperclassman.”  
Niki chuckled, and brandished the wine bottle. “I know it’s a little... traditional, but I brought this. Probably won’t be anywhere near as good as what you store in your cellar, but at least that makes it drinkable.”  
“Ah! You’re witty. I like you. Is your name truly Nikolaus, or can I give you a nickname?”  
“Oh, Niki’s fine. Much better than ‘rat.’” Niki shot James a glare, but he was too busy finishing his wine bottle to notice.

                Once inside, Niki felt much more comfortable. He was sat in a grand armchair, with Marlene perched on the arm of it, and James sat by his feet with his friends encircling him. Alexander and the blonde, who introduced herself as Suzy, soon arrived with wine glasses and iceboxes full of bottles of beer. There were even a couple of buckets with champagne bottles inside situated on the coffee table, next to O’dourves. Actual O’dourves. This was truly a rich boy’s party, Nicky mused.  
“How are you feeling, Niki?” Marlene was fidgeting with what looked like dried pink roses, and looking mischievous.  
“Oh, fine. Not as bad as I thought. You want a glass of this? I probably won’t finish it on my own.”  
“You will. And many more after that. It’s literally a given at Alexander’s parties – nobody leaves without getting drunk enough to embarrass themselves. But I’ll take a glass anyway, if it makes you feel better.”  
“It does make me feel better,” Niki said as he took Marlene’s glass from her and began pouring wine into it, “But I honestly hope I’m an exception to that rule or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

                An hour passed, and then two. As Marlene predicted, Niki had finished his wine bottle and was eagerly awaiting James opening the first champagne bottle. However, James had gone through much more than one single bottle in that time and was having difficulty with the cork. When he eventually loosened it, he shouted, “Chocks away, chaps!” and popped it off, where it hit Niki squarely in the face. He yelped, and clutched his forehead.  
“James, you prat!”  
“Oh! Sorry, Niks, I was hoping to get your teeth. God knows they need filing down.”  
“Shut up, you stupid helmet. Just pour me a glass.” He slid his empty glass across the coffee table, ignoring the stupid nickname, and James obliged, filling it to the brim. Marlene fished some ice from the bucket, and offered it to him. He muttered a ‘thanks’ before pressing to his head, letting it melt. “It’s not bad, is it?”  
Marlene winced comically. “Do you want the truth?”  
“Go for it. My appearance can hardly get any worse.”  
“You’ve got a bit of an egg on your head.”  
He shrugged. “I’ll get over it. I’ll find a hat or something.”  
The mischievous countenance was back on her face again. “I have something.”  
Niki looked at her warily. “I’m not wearing one of Alexander’s bowler hats, if that’s what you’re saying.”  
“Nope. Better. Suzy! Operation Polaroid!”  
“Now wait a minute-“ Before Niki could say another word, Suzy had leapt from her seat, grabbed a Polaroid camera, and appeared at Marlene’s side. Girls were so _freaky_ when they did that. “Marlene, what are you gonna do to me?”  
Marlene smirked, and picked up the plastic flowers she’d been playing with earlier. She’d made them into an actual flower crown.  
“Oh, no. Please? I’m much too manly for flower crowns.”  
“Incorrect.”  
“But _Marleeeeene...”_  
“No arguments. You can’t exactly fight off the both of us. Come on, you’ll look like a dream!”  
Niki huffed, and conceded. He knew just as well as any man that he couldn’t fight off two girls at once. Marlene carefully nestled the crown on top of his curls, and Suzy snapped a picture. The fact that Niki had turned away and put on a decidedly furious expression didn’t spoil their fun, and the girls scurried off with their prize, giggling.  
“Why couldn’t they have done that to any of you?” Niki complained to the other men.  
“Oh, they have,” Clay grumbled, “You should see Marlene’s photo album.”

                With what appeared to be great effort, Alexander got to his feet. “I think,” he slurred, “We are drunk enough for music. What say you, chaps?”  
James, Alistair, and Bubbles whooped for joy, and leapt up. Marlene and Suzy collectively dragged Niki and Clay onto their feet. Alexander and Suzy began bickering over what music to put on, with Suzy winning Alexander over when she whipped out an Ellie Goulding EP.  
“Fine, fine,” He relented, “But as long as we can put some older stuff on later!”  
“Oh, Alex, stop living in the past!” She skipped gleefully to James’ side. Niki realised that he didn’t like the way she was looking at him at all. Simple trance notes began to snake their way out of Alexander’s stereo and into the room.  
“Oh. Isn’t this Burn?”  
“Yep!” Chirped James, “You like Ellie Goulding?”  
“Love her.”  
“Dance with us, Niks.”  
“If you stop calling me that, maybe,” Niki taunted, finishing his glass of champagne and setting it down on the table.

_We can light it up, up, up, so they can’t put it out, out, out._

_Cause we got that fire, fire, fire!_

_And we’re gonna let it burn._

                There was something about dance music, a circle filled with good company, and the influence of alcohol, which made it almost impossible to not have a good time. Marlene and Suzy were clutching each other and dancing, and even some of the men started to loosen up and move; James, Alistair, Alexander and (surprisingly for the whole party) Niki among the first. Nobody cared about the lyrics, or the composition. All that mattered was that it made you feel inexplicably _joyful._ When _Goodness Gracious_ came on next, Alexander pulled Suzy towards him for a dance, leaving James and Niki next to each other. Automatically, Niki inclined himself so he was half-facing James, and found that he was doing the same thing. James reached behind him, grabbed the champagne bottle, and took a swig. He handed it to Niki, who also took a drink, but kept it in his grasp rather than putting it down. They didn’t realise it, but they both began singing to each other as they moved, laughing gleefully. When the bridge came, and they both sang _“I wanna hold you close, but I never want to feel ashamed,”_ Niki flushed red and clamped his mouth shut. God, what was he _doing?_ When James laughed and carried on, he forgot the embarrassment and kept drinking from the champagne bottle until it was empty.

                It was about 2 in the morning when Niki abandoned the others, complaining of a need for fresh air. He ambled into the front garden, and stopped next to a hedge which had been sheared into an impressive lion. “Hiya,” Niki mumbled, leaning on the hedge and apologising to it when he snapped a couple of the branches. “Here,” he said, taking the flower crown off his head and resting it atop the lion’s mane. “You suit it better than me.” He slumped down on the grass, and for a while was content with leaning against the greenery and listening to the breeze. In the distance background, Niki began to hear shuffling and giggling above the sound of his thoughts. His eyes flew open, and instantly noticed two figures sneaking away from the house. For no particular reason, Niki impulsively hid behind the botanic lion. “Alexander doesn’t want anyone having sex in his house,” came the hushed voice of Suzy, “I don’t want to be banned or anything.”  
“Oh, I doubt he’d do that. He’s never stopped me before.” Niki felt like his heart had dislodged and dropped into his stomach. It was James’ voice. As quietly as he could manage, he fled from the garden and found his way to his car, where he spent the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Obligatory party chapter over. I highly recommend listening to Goodness Gracious by Ellie Goulding while imagining James and Niki having a stupid drunk dance. It's good for the soul.
> 
> Also, for people who may not know, "helmet" is slang for bellend in jolly old England. As in the end of a penis. You're welcome!


	6. Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Friday was mediocre,  
> Monday, got a new composure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY IT'S BEEN A FEW DAYS, I've been working/valentine's day/first anniversary with my boyfriend... I've just been a busy woman U FEEL ME? Anyway yes, this one's kinda long and ACTUALLY PROGRESSIVE (a teeny tiny bit). Sort of. All the shit will happen in the next 2-3 chapters. ALL OF THE SHIT. Bye bye

_ 6: Monday _

                James grumbled, and stirred. Suzy was next to him in bed, bare breasted and slumbering. God, but she was gorgeous. Blonde and slender and taller than a telephone pole, she was the kind of girl you only saw in black and white photographs of ‘30’s actresses. Yet somehow he was still wishing for dark curls and buck teeth. Despite the vision lying next to him, James missed Niki. Desperate to get the image of finding Niki lying next to him in the place of Suzy out his head, he dipped his head under the covers, travelling down past her small breasts, her stomach, her hips, until he reached the sweetness that lay inbetween her legs. When his mouth brushed against it, Suzy shot upright. “James? What the hell are you doing?” She groaned, flipping the covers back to reveal his cocky face.   
“Breakfast, Suze. Most important meal of the day.”  
She scoffed, and lay back on the bed, allowing him to get back to business.

                “Morning, sensation seekers!” James boomed as he strutted into the shop, shrugging his jacket off and tossing it over the counter.   
“You’re an hour late,” Clay said shortly, passing James his apron before returning to polishing glasses.   
“I had some very important errands to run,” He replied, grinning at Marlene, who gave him a sour look. James eyed her curiously as she flounced to the opposite end of the counter, as far away from him as she could possibly get. Hell bent on being his usual annoying self, James slid as close to her as he could manage, practically digging his nose into the bun on top of her head. “Are you in a mood with me, Marlene?”  
“Clearly.”  
“You gonna tell me why? You know I don’t like it when my favourite lady is upset with me.”  
She narrowed her eyes. “Suzy should be your favourite lady now,” She spat, venomously and angrily. James had never, ever seen Marlene like this before. Sure, sometimes she’d get a little irritated with him if he overstepped his mark at a party, or accidentally kissed someone else in front of someone he was supposed to be going out with, but she’d always forget it after a few hours, settling for making fun of James rather than arguing with him. But this was different. She never held a grudge – James must have done a pretty solid _shitty deed_ this time. He followed her over to the sink, where she began to loudly wash dishes. Why did girls _do that_ when they were angry? James didn’t want to know. What he did want to know, was what he did that was so bad. He knew he wasn’t a particularly empathetic person, and most of the time he made stupid, impulsive decisions which wound up hurting people’s feelings in the long run. But one thing James never, ever wanted to do was deliberately harm someone, especially not someone like Marlene whom he respected above most others.   
“Can you tell me what I’ve done?” He asked quietly, scooping up a tea towel and scrubbing a mug Marlene had just slammed onto the drainer.   
“See, there’s the annoying thing. I can’t tell you what you’ve done.”  
“Wait a minute. Do you think I’ve taken Suzy away from you?”  
“No. You’re not exactly the clingy type, so nothing to worry about there.” She threw the dishcloth into the sink and let the soapy water out, putting on a strained smile when a customer walked in. “Hi! What can I get you?”  
“Oh, just a regular Americano to go, thanks,” The suited man mumbled, handing Marlene a five and adjusting his glasses.  
“Reg Americano to go, please, James,” She repeated shortly, handing the customer his change. “Can I take your name?”  
“Jonathon. Without the ‘h,’ if it helps you any.”  
“It does,” Marlene smiled, putting on the charm she was so good at, “Our barista makes a great coffee, but his spelling isn’t the best. It’ll be done in just a minute for you.”  
James scoffed as he poured the brew into the paper cup, scribbling Jonathon – without the ‘h’ – onto the side of the cup. “Regular Americano for Jonathon!” He called, before turning back to Marlene. “Please don’t tell me you’re jealous. That would kill me, Marlene.”  
“Deflate your ego. I’m not jealous.”  
“Are you worried I’m gonna hurt her?”  
Marlene sighed deeply at this. For a moment, she looked at James, and her eyes were filled with sympathy and something that almost looked like regret. But it was a fleeting moment, and her gaze was soon back upon her own hands, which were clasped together.  
“I’m worried you’ve already hurt someone else.” Marlene took in a sharp breath, and James could tell that she thought she’d said too much. “Clay, can I go in the back for a couple of minutes? I’m not feeling too great.”  
Clay, who had been inconspicuously listening to the entire conversation, granted her request with a casual wave. Marlene rushed past them both, whipping her phone out of her back pocket as she went. James shot Clay a pleading glance.  
“Don’t look at me,” Clay said, raising his hands in mock surrender, “I have just about as much of a clue as you.”

                At home that night, James was anxiously pacing across his living room. Who had he hurt by getting together with Suzy? Maybe one of the boys liked her. Then again, _all_ of the boys liked Suzy, so that didn’t exactly narrow it down. Plus, he was pretty sure they’d tell him about it if they liked her enough for her relationship with James to bother them. He slumped onto his couch, scrolling through Facebook and Twitter respectively, perking up a little when he saw a message from Suzy pop up.  
“Guess what?” It read.  
“What what what what?”  
“I just got Ellie Goulding tickets :D :D I was thinking of inviting you and Niki, since you both like her. I don’t have his number though! Alexander’s coming too, but I couldn’t force Alistair and Bubbles to say yes!”  
James brightened, and forgot Marlene’s mood for a moment as he remembered what Niki was like at the party. He was comfortable, happy, and more radiant than a full moon in a clear sky. Not to mention Marlene had had the fabulous idea of making him wear a flower crown for the whole night, which made him look rather divine. He longed to see Niki like that again – full of joy and sweetness, the way he should always be.   
“Can we do UV paint? I’m in by the way. I’ll find a way of getting a hold of Niki.”   
“UV Paint!!!! YES. I knew there was a reason I liked you. Message me when you have Niki’s answer. Byeeeeee.”  
James closed his laptop, and began to pace again. This time, he was plotting a way of persuading Niki to join himself and Suzy. And to wear UV paint. This would require outside help, James realised.

                After a reckless drive to the other side of town, James was banging on Marlene’s door. She answered after a minute or two, wearing pyjamas and holding a cup of hot chocolate. “Oh, good God. This had better be good, James. I was rewatching Charmed.”  
“Are you seriously watching that again? It’s rubbish!”  
“Don’t make me throw you out.”  
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry. Let me in?”  
She rolled her eyes, but moved out of the doorway to let him by all the same. James shrugged off his jacket, and propped himself on one of Marlene’s kitchen counters. She sat at the dining table, taking a sip from her mug. “What is it?”  
“Look, whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry. I legitimately have absolutely no idea what you’re mad about, and I can’t do anything about it if I don’t know what the problem is. So can we be friends?” He was rambling needlessly, he knew that, but if it meant getting Marlene back on his side then he didn’t mind.  
“I know it isn’t your fault. I’m just frustrated, I’ve been put in a really difficult situation.”  
“Okay, Marlene. Listen. You’ve been kind of cryptic about this subject every time it’s been brought up, so can we try and make this simple? From what I’ve gathered, someone else other than Suzy likes me.”  
She nodded solemnly.   
“Someone you’re close to.”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, if you don’t tell me, I’ll never be able to do anything about it. Besides, I highly doubt I feel the same way about them. The only person I’ve noticed lately is Niki, you know that.”  
Marlene finally burst. “James, you dense little shit! It’s _Niki_ who likes you!”  
Speech failed James for a few moments. “You’re lying. You can’t be – does he really?” He couldn’t even manage a sentence, he was so flustered and surprised and _elated._ Regardless of how much he respected Suzy, the feeling he experienced when hearing Marlene say those words sent his mind reeling, and he forgot everything else. For that split second of realisation, the only other person on the planet was Niki. “Oh my god. How long have you known?”  
“I’ve had a feeling for a few weeks. He told me properly on Friday night.”  
“When? We didn’t see him after two in the morning!”  
“Because he overheard you and Suzy and ran to his car!” She snapped, “I texted and asked where he was. Niki had drank a _lot_ that night, so he ended up telling me everything. He told me he’d been drawn to you for ages and that recently it became something else, but he’s been scared you didn’t like him and that you’d mess him around.”  
“Oh, Christ. I had no idea. I didn’t even see him! What do I do, Marlene?”  
“Don’t ask me! Suzy and Niki are my closest friends. No matter what I pick, one will get hurt. You have to make this decision on your own, based on who you care about the most. Either that, or leave them both alone.”   
“I know you’d rather I leave them both alone, you don’t need to hide that. But I have to be honest, all I’ve been able to think about for this last month is Niki. It’s intoxicating. I have to admit, I thought Suzy would help me forget him, but I think it’s made things worse. And I think we both know that Suzy isn’t _that_ crazy about me, Marlene.”  
She sighed deeply, draining her mug and leaning back, staring at the ceiling. “Was this the real reason you came here?”  
“One of them. The main reason was... well, I came to ask for Niki’s number, actually.”  
“Don’t you remember? You already have it! I gave it to you on Friday night.”  
James bewilderedly pulled his phone from his pockets, and began looking through his contacts, until he spotted one he hadn’t seen before. “Who saved him as Hot Grump?”  
“I think it was a mutual decision between the both of us,” She said, smiling fondly.  
“It fits, at least. I think I might keep it like that.” Then, an idea popped into James’ head. “Marlene...”  
“I know that voice. What do you want?”  
“This is gonna sound weird. But I need you to pretend to be going to the Ellie Goulding gig with me and then unexpectedly pull out while Niki is present.”  
She saw through the act before he had even finished his sentence. “Oh, no.”  
James grinned heartily. “Oh, yes.”


	7. Tempt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And if I didn't know, well if I didn't know, well if I didn't know that you loved me, would you tempt me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M BACK  
> You know how I said things would start happening in the next few chapters? YEEEAAAH I lied. Well no, I didn't lie. I'm just... taking it slow. Yooooo. ENJOY

_ 7: Tempt Me _

                “Hi, stupid,” Niki mumbled when Lukas jumped excitedly onto his bed, sniffing around his legs. He sat up groggily, groaning when his back cracked loudly. He checked the clock by the bed – 8:45AM. “Ugh, this is my day off! I can’t believe I’m forsaking a lie-in for a _dog_. Can’t it wait?”  
Lukas gave him a wide-eyed and desperate look, which indicated that not even the end of the world could stop him from having his breakfast.  
“Curse your adorable face. And curse me for not getting an ugly dog.”

                Forcing himself out of bed, Niki padded into the kitchen, absently yawning and scratching himself as he went. His half-lidded eyes squeezed themselves shut as he passed the large window that covered an entire wall of his apartment, where the sun was streaming through. The window seemed a good idea at the time, and Niki still thought that it made his living room look more attractive and open, but if he forgot to shut the blinds before retiring to bed for the night, he always severely regretted it in the morning. Niki pressed his hand against his face in an attempt to shut the sunlight out, grunting irritably, but could still hear Lukas’ paws skittering about on the kitchen tiles. “Alright, alright. I’m coming. God, I wish you could feed yourself. I should have got a cat. Do you hear me? A _cat.”_  
But Lukas could clearly hear nothing other than the sound of food being poured into his bowl.

                A few hours later, Niki was curled up on the sofa, wearing sweatpants and one sock, with a blanket wrapped around his bare shoulders. A couple of empty yoghurt pots sat discarded on the coffee table, and Lukas was sprawled on the opposite side of the couch, chewing the sock he’d stolen from Niki’s foot earlier. Usually, he wouldn’t spend his free days slouching about like this; he’d catch up on housework, experiment with new recipes, or even pay some bills if he felt up to it. But today Niki didn’t feel like doing anything other than stew in his own disappointment. He hated to admit it, but he was a horribly emotional character. The type of person to cry at films like The Notebook or Atonement while clutching a cushion and shovelling Ferrero-Rochers into their mouth. Therefore, overhearing James and Suzy on Friday night had left him feeling somewhat miserable. He’d known all along that it was stupid to give himself false hope – that Marlene absolutely had not been hinting towards James holding any kind of affection towards him. However, like a naive child questioning the existence of Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy, he had chosen to believe his heart over his head. So, it was his own fault that he was in this mess, Niki concluded.

                During a particularly emotional scene of Charmed – a show Marlene had gotten Niki shamelessly addicted to – his phone went off. “Nooooo, bother me later,” He whined, grabbing his phone and staring at it. The name on the screen was ‘ _Hunt the Hunk.’_ Niki scoffed. Who the hell was _Hunt the Hunk?_  
“Hi,” It read, “Who’s this? You’ve been saved under Hot Grump.”  
Niki scowled. “It’s Niki Lauda. Who’s this?” He replied.  
“Ooooh, I know your full name now!”  
“...Congratulations. Doesn’t answer my question.”  
“Oh, it’s James! From the coffee shop!”  
“Well, now I know your full name too. You’re saved in my phone as Hunt the Hunk.”  
“Hunt the Hunk? Ha! Amazing. It definitely matches.”  
Niki’s thumb hesitated over his screen. _Yes, it did fit._ “I think Hunt the Cunt is better.”  
“How ironic, because I think Hot Grump happens to suit you perfectly ;)”  
Niki was sure he felt his enter stomach do a backflip when he read that. “I know, I’m simply irresistible,” He typed, thanking Christ that his incredibly red face was hidden from James’ view.  
“You have no idea. What are you up to?”  
Niki slumped in the couch, and paused the DVD. Piper and Leo’s wedding would have to wait. He couldn’t believe this; James was _flirting_ with him. Part of Niki wanted to be angry with him for flirting at the precise time when he decided to get a girlfriend and therefore become totally off limits, but at the same time he was ecstatic. He elected to use his better judgement and ignore the ‘irresistible’ comment, replying with “Just lazing about watching TV with the dog. You?”  
“Ha! The great Niki Lauda is capable of a day off! I’m just on my break at work.”  
“Rude. Yes, I am capable, thank you very much.” _But only when ever so slightly jaded and sore-hearted,_ Niki thought drily.  
“I’ve got something to ask you, actually.”  
Niki sat upright. He had to retype his text three times because he couldn’t even spell ‘what’ correctly. Eventually, he sent it off, and set to staring at his phone, trying to make it go off with the power of his will. When James replied, Niki almost threw his phone across the room by mistake in his eagerness to read the text. “What type of dog do you have? And why didn’t you tell us you had one?!”  
Niki huffed. _Thanks a lot, James. Just give me a heart attack over nothing._ “He’s a Boston Terrier. And I don’t recall having to update you on everything that occurs in my life.”  
“Ugh, ratty little things. But that wasn’t even what I was going to ask you. What are you doing on Friday?”  
Niki dropped his phone on the sofa and began to pace. Why was he so nervous? It was ridiculous, completely ridiculous, that he should let something like this get to him so much. But, then again, Niki couldn’t shake the fantasy of James asking him out. Just the two of them. He plucked his phone from the sofa, taking a sharp breath before typing, “I’m working, why?”  
The reply came almost instantly. “Can you get it off?”  
“I can get the dinner service off. What do you have in mind?”  
“The Ellie Goulding gig. A few of us were going, but Marlene dropped out. I thought I’d invite you, since you seemed to enjoy dancing to her so much at the party ;)”  
Niki bristled. How could a simple, stupid _winky face_ cause so much tension in one’s body? It was pathetic. “I was hoping you’d forget that. But yeah, I’d love to go.”  
“Awesome! I’ll go over the times and stuff tomorrow when you come into the shop. My break’s over now, though. I’ll see you later. X”  
Niki almost typed ‘ _Was that a kiss?’_ but thought better of it. Instead, he settled for smiling like an idiot at his phone for a good long while.

                That night, lying in bed, Niki drifted off to thoughts of himself and James in a dark room, forced to stand shoulder to shoulder by the crowd. Throwing their hands in the air and singing along like nobody was listening, jumping like maniacs. Turning to face each other, so close that their noses could be touching if not for the height distance, the thumping bass mimicking their heartbeats as they moved closer... closer...

                Niki awoke with a start, a shrill bell ringing in his ears. It was Wednesday morning, and his alarm clock had just went off.


	8. Choke Hold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm giving, giving you the choke hold."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN A WHILE, I've felt a little bit of a block with this chapter for a while, but no more! Woo. ALSO, thank you to everyone for getting this fic past 200 hits! Seriously, you guys are the best.

_ 8: The Choke Hold _

          James was filled with anxiety, his foot tap-tap-tapping on the floor. Niki was due to arrive at the shop in less than five minutes, and somehow James didn’t think he’d be anything less than punctual. He knew that he shouldn’t be so anticipant about this; that Suzy would be there too, but he couldn’t help it. The idea of being so close to Niki for such a long time was electrifying. For once in his life, James Hunt wished that he had been patient. If he’d just waited another week, Marlene might have caved in and told him how Niki felt. Or perhaps Niki himself would have confessed at the party, if James hadn’t decided to lose himself in Suzy for the night. And now he was in a terrible position – he could hurt Suzy (and probably annoy Niki), or hurt both Niki and himself by forcing himself to stay with Suzy. Worse still, was _knowing_ that Niki felt the same, but not being able to pursue him.

          When the bell attached to the door tinkled as it opened, James’ head snapped up to eye Niki, who was wearing a v-neck t-shirt which was tantalisingly and torturously _tight_ on him. A tiny portion of his collarbones were visible, along with long, slightly pale arms. He was also wearing aviators – it was surprisingly sunny – which, strangely, he actually suited. Most people look like total idiots when they wear aviators, but Niki actually looked somewhat _cool,_ for lack of a better term. “You look different,” James said, unable to stop himself from staring when Niki pushed the sunglasses upwards so they were resting in his curls.  
“So do you. Are you seriously wearing shorts? You know you’re gonna lose those flip-flops within like two minutes, right?”  
“Thanks, Mum. I’m a big boy who can look after himself, you know,” Unable to help himself, James winked. To his delight, Niki’s neck turned scarlet.  
“I’m sure you are. Should we go?”  
“Yes, sir. Thanks for being designated driver, by the way.”  
“Did I have a choice?”  
“That would be a no, sir.”  
Niki rolled his eyes, and started towards the door. “Come on then. Up.”

          “You drive like such a twat, Niks, speed up!”  
“Do you _want_ me to crash?”  
“You’re driving, like, precisely on the speed limit. Going over thirty won’t make us crash.”  
“If you’re questioning my driving skills, you can feel free to walk home tonight.”  
James pouted, and leaned back in his seat, sitting silently for the rest of the journey. Instead, he settled for watching Niki drive. He refused to have the radio on, and was watching the road so intently that James was sure that Niki would forget he had a passenger altogether if he stayed quiet for long enough. When they arrived, Alexander and Suzy were already waiting outside the Academy, drinking Lambrini from a bottle. “You two are so classy that it actually hurts.”  
“If I’m going to drink on the streets, it’s certainly not going to be a bottle of Chardonnay. I wouldn’t mind if the coppers confiscated this stuff, and it really isn’t that bad once you get used to it.” Alexander was pink faced, and clearly already a little drunk. Suzy, when she saw James, wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. Out of the corner of his eye, James could see Niki deliberately looking away, which made him put Suzy down almost instantly. Apparently unfazed by his cold attitude, she skipped back to Alexander’s side, taking the bottle from his hands.  
“I’m so glad you could come, Niki! We’ve all missed you since the party, haven’t we Alexander?”  
“We’ve simply been unable to go on, my dear.”  
Niki chuckled – that same, almost silent laugh that made his nose and eyes scrunch up. When he laughed like that, it was almost impossible to look away from him for more than a second. “I’ve felt exactly the same about you. Life has been unliveable.”  
For a change, James stayed on the outskirts of the conversation and kept his attention fixed on Niki. He loved seeing him like this – blending seamlessly into conversation as if it took no effort whatsoever. “Do you have any spare UV paint on you, Suze?” He asked, suddenly remembering the request that Suzy had asked of him prior to the concert.  
“Oh, yeah! I’ve only got orange left though.”  
“Perfect. Niki, get over here!” James commanded, taking the tube of paint from Suzy and squeezing some onto his finger.  
Niki recoiled almost immediately, holding his hands over his face defensively. “Oh, no. No chance. You get that away from me!”  
“Aw, please? It comes right off!” James made sure to lower his head, so he could gaze up at Niki from beneath his eyelashes. He knew full well how unfair he was being, but the idea of being able to touch Niki’s skin under the innocent premise of paint was an opportunity that was far too good to pass up. As he hoped, Niki relented, and moved closer to allow James to apply the paint. First, he dragged his fingers across the soft flesh of both of Niki’s cheeks, giving him fiery orange war paint. Then, for good measure, he drew a tiny heart in-between Niki’s collarbones, delighting in the gooseflesh that arose beneath his touch, and in the steady thumping of Niki’s heart. “Okay, okay, do me!”  
Gingerly, Niki took the tube from James and squirted a small dollop of paint onto his finger. When he felt Niki’s fingers on his temples, James almost shivered. Although cold, his hands were soft and surprisingly gentle as they etched what appeared to be spiralling swirls into James’ face.

          Once the doors had opened and everyone was piled inside the venue, James and the group were reasonably close to the front, anxiously awaiting the end of the support act’s set. The band was decent enough, but James figured that they could be the next Ramones or Queen, and he would still be more excited for the act he’d paid to see, and he suspected that most of his fellow spectators felt the same way. One James’ left side were Suzy and Alexander, with Suzy pressed close to his side. She had wrapped an arm around his waist, and fixed an iron grip on his right hip that James did not believe he could unhinge without arousing suspicion. On his right was Niki; quiet and composed, looking straight ahead. In spare moments, James would take a minute to admire his profile – from the long dark lashes, to the sturdy nose, to the endearing overbite which would reveal a tiny portion of Niki’s top teeth every now and then. During one of these moments, James was distracted by Suzy bellowing over the top of the music. “Me and Alex are going to the bar,” She yelled, “Do you want anything?”  
James shook his head, and watched as she and Alexander pushed through the crowd and out of sight.

          When the lights dimmed down and the crowd erupted into cheers, James took a deep breath, and impulsively reached out to take Niki’s hand in his.


	9. Tasting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I like to look at you, yeah. I love that smell on you. And I got your special place against this face for tasting, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK AGES I'm really sorry, but it had to involve me watching a whole Ellie Goulding concert for research, so I had to find time for that and... yeah. STUFF FINALLY HAPPENS. LOTS OF STUFF. I don't own Ellie's songs, yadda yadda yadda. Also, this gig is based on the iTunes 2013 concert, which I suggest you take a look at because the full thing is on YouTube and it's GREAT. I also apologise in advance for any typos, it's 3 in the morning right now so I'm a bit sleepy. But hey. ENJOY.

_ 9: Tasting _

            _“Ellie! Ellie! Ellie!”  
_ The racket of crowd was thumping against Niki’s temples, matching the tempo with which he was harshly breathing out and in. Just as the lights had dimmed, James had slipped his hand into Niki’s own, taking him completely by surprise. He was so dizzy with shock that he hadn’t noticed Ellie walking onto the stage, not did he notice when she began to bang the singular drum which she often kept at the front of the stage by her microphone. “ _Won’t you come? Won’t you come, just don’t say a word.”_ And Niki didn’t say a word. Instead, he adjusted his hand so his fingers were interlaced with James’, absently stroking a knuckle with his thumb. He wasn’t quite ready to make eye contact just yet, so settled for staring right at Ellie as she switched to Halcyon. Truthfully, it wasn’t exactly difficult to become distracted by her, as she performed passionately, moving gently to the beat. She had the ability to be powerful and control the stage, but at the same time possessed delicate features and a humble countenance. Then, of course, was her uniquely haunting voice, which was floating through the venue.

            Animal was next, and the mood in the room instantly changed. Ellie was dancing, stomping the floor and thrusting out into the crowd. Red light was cascaded over the whole place, and Niki felt James moving next to him, tapping his heel restlessly. With a sudden burst of courage, Niki pulled James towards him. “Dance with me, then!” He shouted, in a voice that sounded entirely too _fun_ to be his own. James raised an eyebrow, apparently impressed, and complied. It wasn’t necessarily _dancing,_ per se, it was more jumping up and down like total idiots. However, there was something oddly _intimate_ about it; Niki supposed that it would be the same as dancing in a dark nightclub with someone while sweet-smelling smoke was spilled onto the dancefloor. It slightly reminded Niki of dancing at Alexander’s party, only this time, when he and James sang _“I want to fall in love with you again and again,”_ to each other, he didn’t feel the slightest twinge of embarrassment.

            “I wonder who knows this next song,” Ellie mused in her naturally-hoarse voice, with the tiniest sense of sarcasm. The backing track filled the room, and Niki was sure that every single girl in the room screamed. Of course, it was _Starry Eyed._  
“It’s probably the only song half the people in this room know!” He heard James bellow into his ear over the top of the music.  
“It’s their loss!” He shouted back, returning to his previous position: directly facing Ellie. This time, it is Niki who takes James’ hand, with James giving it a happy little squeeze.  
“God, how does she _do_ that with her hips?” James yelled, transfixed on Ellie’s bare midriff.  
“I have no idea. It would probably take me eight years of gymnastic lessons to even be able to get close to that.”  
“Don’t give me images like that, you terrible flirt.”

            “How’s everyone up at the top?” Ellie asked, gesturing to the ceiling, “In the seats. Seating. Seated... areas.”  
“I think I love her. She’s so adorable. I also hate her because I am not that adorable.”  
“I beg to differ, Niks. Oh! Did you hear that? She’s doing Figure 8!”  
“You like Figure 8?”  
“In case you haven’t noticed, I do in fact have working ears. Of course I like Figure 8.” Once again, the room is filled with red light. But this time it’s hazy, and subtly sexy. Niki could feel himself getting nervous all over again, and began to fidget with his hair. Then, a large hand swept down and placed itself over the top of his own, slowly removing it from the top of his head. He inclined his head to the left, where he found James staring directly at him with an unreadable expression. Niki blinked, helpless to do anything else under the intensity of James’ staring eyes. His hand was back in Niki’s hair again, rolling the curls between his fingertips, with the palm of his hand resting on Niki’s cheek, using that grip to slowly move him forward. Without even considering the consequences, Niki pushed upwards and pressed his mouth against James’. His eyes slipped shut, and he let out a small breath of air from his nose when he felt James returning the kiss, wrapping his spare arm around Niki’s waist to pull him upwards in order to deepen the embrace. To keep from falling, Niki had to clutch the back of James’ neck with both hands, using the opportunity to scrunch a fist in his hair, which was slightly damp with sweat. Because James’ mouth was slightly wider than Niki’s, he felt the sensation that his lips had been completely captured, and it was hardly an unpleasant feeling.

            Ellie was halfway through _Joy_ when James pulled away from Niki, and again began to intently stare at him. Unable to help himself, Niki let out an exasperated laugh. James joined in, and gently knocked their heads together. They were probably annoying the people behind them to no end, but Niki couldn’t have cared less if he tried at that point. As the slow and dreamy melody transformed into the drum-heavy bridge, James encased Niki in an embrace, burying his head into the crook of his shoulder and nuzzling lightly. Niki, whose face was completely covered by the wide expanse of James’ chest, inhaled his scent indulgently, humming with pleasure at the mix of Joop! aftershave and the natural smell of James’ skin. His hands travelled up until they grasped each shoulder blade, and despite the heat of the room caused by hundreds of sweaty bodies crammed together, Niki found himself craving more and more of the joy inducing warmth that the space in James’ arms provided.

 _“How long will I love you?_  
As long as stars are above you.  
And longer if I can.”

            By the time Ellie started _I Know You Care,_ James and Niki were standing side by side again, James having slung an arm around Niki’s shoulders. Paying attention to each other was almost impossible at this point – both were completely hypnotised by Ellie, as she emotionally relayed a tale of her father with teary eyes and a reminiscent expression.   _Your Song_ was next, and Niki permitted himself a small smile at the appropriateness of Elton John’s great composition being played while he stood sheltered under the arm of another man. Niki laid his head on James’ shoulder, and sighed.

            He was in a state of dreamy elation when James urgently shook him by the shoulder. He took a sideways glance at James, and instantly recoiled at his fearful expression. “What is it?” He mouthed, instinctively turning around. What he saw behind him knocked the air out of him. Suzy was standing there, and by the look on her face had been standing there for a long time. “How long have you been there?” He asked, hearing his voice crack under the weight of the intense guilt washing over him.  
“I never went to the bar to begin with. I knew there was something going on so I pretended to leave.” She looked as though she wanted to say more, opening and closing her mouth, hurt staining her pretty face. Suzy turned, and began to shove her way backwards, towards the exit.  
“Suzy! Hang on!” Without a second thought, Niki was following. He spent the chorus of _My Blood_ running through the crowd after Suzy, who he had lost as soon as she had made her way past the first row of people.

            The streets were flooded, with rain falling still. Niki frantically searched around him, but Suzy was long gone. “Suzy!” He yelled out, in one last vain attempt. “Oh, God...” He moaned, “I’m so sorry.” He put his head in his hands, only to have someone remove them from behind him.  
“Niki. Come on, let’s get out of the rain,” James said, his voice surprisingly gentle as he ushered Niki into a nearby takeaway. “Come on, sit down. Jesus, you’re soaking already. Do you want anything?” He asked, nodding towards the counter.  
“Oh, no. Just a drink’s fine, if you don’t mind,” He said, staring at his hands until James returned with a carton of cheesy chips and two cans of Coke. “Did you see Suzy at all? Like, which way she went?”  
“Suzy?” James asked, as if he had no idea of her existence, “No! I was following you. Suzy’ll be fine.”  
“Suzy will... be fine.” Niki repeated dully, glaring at James.  
“What’s the matter?”  
“You’re acting like you haven’t just been caught cheating on your girlfriend. Aren’t you even slightly guilty?”  
“Are you?”  
“Of course I am! God, I don’t even know why I did it. I couldn’t... I had to. You’ve been driving me mad for weeks. Oh fuck, that isn’t even an excuse. I can’t believe I’ve done this.”  
“Niki! Don’t beat yourself up! It’ll be fine. I doubt she was that bothered.”  
“She ran out of the concert and disappeared! Christ, James, that doesn’t sound that _not bothered_ to me! You’re laughing. I can’t believe you.”  
“I’m just amazed at you. I didn’t have you pinned as someone who cared so much about other people’s emotions.”  
Niki stood abruptly, scowling down at James. “Perhaps you don’t know me very well. I suppose you’ve got me pinned as another Suzy.”  
“What’s that meant to mean?”  
“That you’ll just ditch me at the next party without a word of apology. That’s why it took me so long to act on any affection I felt for you in the first place.”  
“Niki. You mean more to me than that. Suzy was just...”  
“A one night stand that you lead on. So forgive me if I’m not exactly pleased with the circumstances that I’m in right now. I’m going home, find your own way back.”  
“Niki, wait!” He heard the scrape of a chair as James jumped to his feet, but he was already opening the door and storming out into the rain.

            The weather was near enough impossible to drive in. Normally, Niki would wait a storm out, or drive cautiously if he had no other choice but to brave the roads, but this time he couldn’t force himself to be his usual careful self. He drove fast and hard through the flooded streets, desperate to get home and scream at the walls for a few hours. Niki went through a particularly sharp corner 20 miles faster than he should have, and his Mini swerved violently as it slid on the soaked road. The truck was smashing into the windshield before Niki even realised it was there. He spends Christmas Day in a coma.


	10. Comments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm getting over all the comments,  
> I'm feeling statements made by people are nonsense.  
> I'm getting stronger by the minute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO HELLO yes this is in Marlene's POV, don't let that confuse you my cherubs
> 
> ALSO, you might be confused by the events mentioned in the newspaper article. ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED SOON.

_ 10: The Comments _

                It was Boxing Day when Marlene received the phone call about Niki. He’d been in intensive care for days, after slipping into a coma two days before Christmas Eve. Upon waking, he had allegedly pleaded with doctors to call Marlene before they called his family, insisting that her company was far more desired. From what little Niki had told Marlene about his family, she wasn’t surprised at his request. That following morning she had rushed to the hospital, and while she anxiously sat in the waiting room awaiting news of Niki’s condition and whether he was stable enough for visitors, she scanned the papers for any insight into what had happened. She’d been told that he had been involved in a traffic collision, but had no idea of the specifics. On the fourth page of a local newspaper, Marlene found an entire spread dedicated to Niki’s crash. It read:

* * *

 

** Ramsay’s “Austrian Ace” Critically Injured in Horror Crash **

Restaurant manager Niki Lauda, 26, was left comatose and burned beyond recognition following an explosive collision with a lorry last night.

Lauda, an Austrian who moved to Britain several years ago to study, was allegedly on his way home from a concert when his red Mini Cooper swerved as it passed over a wet patch on the road, causing Lauda to lose control of his car and drive into the side of a lorry which was leaving a nearby junction. The Mini’s engine caught fire, and the car was engulfed in flames. The force of the impact had shattered the Mini’s windscreen, leaving Lauda’s face and arms unprotected from the flames, and his lungs unprotected from the fumes and smoke streaming into his vehicle.

After nearly a minute of being trapped and unconscious in his seat, Lauda, real name Andreas Nikolaus, was pulled from the car by the lorry’s driver – John Watson, 30. Thankfully, Watson was unhurt and stayed by Lauda’s side until emergency services arrived. “I actually had his head in my lap,” He recalls, “Because I didn’t want him to lie flat. He regained consciousness pretty much as soon as I got  him out of the car, and we were talking all the way through the wait for the ambulance. He kept asking me over and over again if his face was burnt. In order to keep him as quiet and composed as I could, I said it was fine. In fact, the right side of his face was burned, and his scalp was charred.”

Lauda, who appeared on TV chef Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (and who was dubbed the ‘Austrian Ace’ by Ramsay because of his skills in the kitchen) was due to open a restaurant of his own in January this year.

_By Murray Walker_

* * *

 

                Accompanying the article were two pictures: one was of Niki’s car encased in a massive fireball, and the other was the skeletal wreck of the Mini once the flames had been put out. Marlene was almost thankful that there weren’t any pictures that showed Niki himself during the accident. She realised that she was also grateful, as she was standing outside Niki’s ward ten minutes later, that James never read newspapers. One of the nurses who had been assigned to Niki, who was mildly plump with gentle brown eyes, told Marlene, “He isn’t able to talk much at the moment – the damage to his lungs is... well, we fear it may be irreversible. And as for the burns, I’m so sorry to tell you this, but you have to expect the worst. Niki does not look the way he used to look anymore.” With one last pitiful glance at Marlene, the nurse left her to face Niki alone. Slowly, she made her way through the ward, passing people with bandaged hands and feet and foreheads, until she reached a bed which was completely covered by curtains. Somehow, Marlene had known before she entered that this was Niki’s bed. When she peeled back the curtain, she had to use every last ounce of willpower to bite back the screech that bubbled in the back of her throat. She snapped the curtain back, clutching it desperately with a clenched fist, while the other flew to her chest. Her breathing was sharp and shallow, and her knees felt as though the very bones had been taken out of them. Marlene understood why the nurse had said that Niki didn’t look like himself. Niki didn’t look like anything anymore. _Niki didn’t_ _have a face anymore._ Marlene sunk to the floor, and wept.

                She wasn’t sure how long she spent sat on the floor, hopelessly trying to persuade herself to just _be brave_ and get up. However, the possibility of Niki’s death and the surety of his disfigurement was all too real for her now. There was a significant difference between reading about his condition in the paper and seeing the carnage that had been left behind with her own eyes. And it was simply terrifying. When she heard a groan from behind her, Marlene’s head whipped around to behold a young woman, whose dressing was being changed. When the doctor cautiously removed the bandage to reveal the puffy white skin, which was oozing a small amount of yellow pus, the woman burst into tears and screwed her eyes shut, as if trying to will the horrible sight on her arm away. For a moment, Marlene tried to imagine her as Niki, before realising that he probably couldn’t even open his eyes wide enough to look in a mirror. Her brow furrowed and she scowled at her knees, and at how disgracefully weak she was being. After all, what was the fear of watching a loved one die compared to the fear of actually dying? There was no comparison whatsoever, she concluded as she sternly got to her feet. Marlene would be brave, the way Niki was being brave. When she pulled the curtain back for a second time, Marlene was relieved to see Niki awake, and looking directly at her. “I... saw that,” He croaked, his voice barely a whisper. Marlene laughed, despite the fresh tears appearing in her eyes.  
“Oh, Niki. I’m so sorry. Seeing you in this way is so painful... but I will be tough for you. I promise.” She was probably irritating him by babbling, but she wouldn’t help it – she wanted to help him forget the horror he was being forced to endure.  
“Marlene,” He wheezed, “It’s fine. I’m fine. But Promise me something. James...” He choked, and she wasn’t sure whether it was from physical or emotional pain. “Don’t...”  
“I won’t tell him.”  
“Thank you...” He whispered, visibly relaxing.

                A week later, Niki was out of intensive care. The fluid that had gathered in his lungs had been pumped out, with Marlene standing by his side during the entire procedure. Niki’s courage had worn off on her, it seemed, and she felt more and more comfortable by the day. One afternoon, Suzy arrived at the hospital. Marlene had invited her at Niki’s request. When she laid eyes on him for the first time, Suzy did not hide her horror. She rushed to the bedside, and took Marlene by the hand, and only calmed down when Marlene placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, throwing Suzy a hard, meaningful look. “Well,” Suzy sighed, “You’ve been keeping a few secrets from us, _Andreas._ ”  
“Yes, I...” Niki was broken off by a hacking cough which caused him to convulse on the bed.  
“Niki. The doctors told you not to talk too much until your lungs settle,” Marlene chided, but not unkindly, “He didn’t think it mattered. At least, that’s what he told me.”  
“I think opening your own restaurant is fairly important! And being on Kitchen Nightmares!” Suzy’s eyes sparkled with dreamy admiration, “I can’t believe you got to meet Chef Ramsay!”  
Niki shrugged, like it was the most unimportant thing in the world. “Just happened,” He said, spluttering a little. They were silent for a moment, and it was then that Marlene noticed that Niki couldn’t look Suzy in the eye. He’d told her what had happened between himself and James, and of his guilt. She reached out, and patted his arm.  
“Does he know?” Suzy murmured, almost silent. They all knew that she was talking about James.  
“No,” Marlene sighed. “Niki doesn’t want him to know.”  
“Suzy,” Niki said suddenly, gasping with pain, “I’m sorry. So sorry.”  
Suzy exhaled heavily, and sat on Niki’s bed. Laying a hand on his shoulder, alongside Marlene’s own hand, she said, “I don’t hold you responsible for any of that, nor James. He explained everything to me – you had liked each other long before I turned up. And you care more for him that I ever could.”

                Things were easier after that conversation. Niki seemed at ease, as if the guilt had been weighing him down more than his injuries. Knowing Niki, this was probably the case. Marlene visited him daily, and openly discussed her delight at his speedy recovery. A few days before Niki’s skin graft was due to take place, Marlene entered the ward and was surprised to find a small wisp of a woman standing at the foot of Niki’s bed. She was dressed in palest lavender, and her thin iron hair was pulled into an austere bun behind her ears. Without trying to attract too much attention to herself, Marlene slipped close enough to eavesdrop on their conversation.  
“Of course I’m glad you’re alive!” The woman spat in German, in an accent which Marlene clearly recognised as Austrian, “I just wish you could do more about this hideous condition of yours. Hans has agreed to pay for surgery – you could look normal again!”  
“I don’t want any of Hans’ money. I requested an operation to restore the use of my eyelids, and that is all I want. I should quite like to be able to blink again,” Niki replied, looking slightly whimsical at the thought, before returning to a stern and determined expression, “This is the way I look now. I will deal with it, and so will anyone else who cares for me. That is all I need.”  
“That isn’t the way the world works, Andreas. You won’t get anywhere in life if you look like this. I’m trying to make it easier for you, and so is your grandfather. We do care for you, even if you are convinced that we don’t.”  
“Then you have an awfully strange way of showing it. Besides, I never did have much to work with in terms of appearance anyway, now did I?” Normally, Niki would say something like this with a witty smirk plastered across his face, but in this instance he was a picture of contempt.  
The woman scoffed. “You’re too stubborn for your own good, Andreas.”  
“My name is _Niki._ And yes, perhaps I am. But it’s gotten me to where I want to be in life. I am perfectly content with my career, social life, and ambitions. Why should something like a scar spoil all of that? Tell Hans to keep his precious money. Perhaps he can buy himself happiness.”  
The woman took a breath so deep that Marlene could see her shoulders rise and fall. “I’m glad you’re okay, Niki. Truly.”

                Marlene recognised Niki’s mother as she took an aimless glance at her as she walked past, greeting her with the same intense blue gaze that Niki had so often given her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYYYY NIKI WAS ON KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
> 
> Well. No, he wasn't, technically. But hey, that's what imagination is for! And yes, there will be a Ramsay cameo. And YES, the episode of Kitchen Nightmares will be featured in the fic. heggy heggy ho


	11. Bold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You, you're so bold.  
> My wanting to kiss you still is not enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAYYYY here I am. And also AAAYYY we finally have a definite number on chapters! Also, I thought it might interest you that I made a fanmix for O. Lover! http://8tracks.com/twatbellamy/o-lover-a-launt-fanmix 

_ 11: Bold _

                It had been four weeks since James last spoke to Niki. Four long, tiresome, and frankly depressing weeks. James still hadn’t fixed the cupboard door that he had torn off in a rage when he got home from the concert, and had no intention of doing so. In the last month, James had found that he was nothing but an empty shell without Niki. It was funny, how this stern and sarcastic man could instil so much happiness in someone, whether it was with a snide little insult or a kiss. _Oh, don’t think about the kiss again._ James leaned back, hitting the back of his head on the arm of the sofa, and wiped his mouth impulsively. He’d been trying to force himself to forget that first kiss with Niki for too long – the sweetness and soft texture of his lips, and the fact that he was constantly grazing James’ bottom lip with his teeth. Groaning at his own weakness, James pulled out his phone and scrolled to the top of his conversation with Niki, reading it for what was probably the hundredth time from top to bottom, smiling nostalgically at a time when things were so easy between them. His expression hardened when he reached the bottom, where Niki’s texts abruptly ended and James’ monologue began.

_“Niki, did you get home alright?”_

_“Hellooooo?”_

_“I’m worried. Where are you?”_

_“Look, I’m sorry for tonight. Please don’t ignore me, Niks.”_

_“Marlene told me to stop contacting you. What the hell are you playing at?”_

_“It’s Wednesday and you aren’t here.”_

Disgruntled, he threw his phone across the room, where it landed with a soft thump on the carpet.

                In the shop the next morning, James was absently flicking wooden stirrers at Clay’s head when Suzy bounded through the door. Oddly enough, she had instantly forgiven James as soon as he had told her the truth about his feelings for Niki during a drunken phone call, and had now appointed herself as his ‘relationship guru,’ or something similarly stupid. “James, James, James! Come quick. There’s a restaurant opening just across the road!”  
“Oh, _marvellous,_ if only I had some party poppers.”  
“Don’t be such a dick! I think you’ll be interested in this. Gordon _fucking_ Ramsay’s over there, and someone else who you’ll be dying to meet.”  
“Who is this someone else?” James asked with heavily fake interest, imagining that it was probably someone who he didn’t care less about but Suzy adored, like some model or something. James didn’t hold much interest for pretty one-nighters anymore, although he hated to admit it.  
“It’s a surprise. It’s so big that Marlene’s over there on her day off!”  
“That does sound big. I usually don’t like to come within twenty miles of this place on my day off.” He knew how entirely uninterested he sounded, but he didn’t care. Apparently, though, Suzy didn’t get the hint.   
“Look, just come with me. You won’t regret it. Oh, and don’t tell Marlene. She told me explicitly not to bring you.”  
That grabbed James’ attention, as he suspected Suzy had known it would.. Anything that was forbidden was instantly desirable to him. “Clay, hold this for me,” He said, and pushed the stirrer through the middle of Clay’s moustache, making sure to rush out of the shop before Clay had the chance to kick him squarely in the arse.

                It was surprisingly fair weather for January, and James had to shield his eyes from the bright winter sun that was beaming down on the streets. Suzy grabbed him by the wrist, and began to excitedly pull him across the road and towards what looked like an Italian bistro. On a bright red background, _The Scuderia_ was scrawled in an elegant italic font across the sign above the restaurant. Inside, James could see that the red and white theme was matched in the interior too, giving the place an air of quiet class with a hint of modernism. For some reason, it reminded him of Niki, which instantly dampened his mood. Everything seemed to remind him of Niki lately. He was vaguely aware of Suzy pulling him again, dragging him away from the red ribbon at the front, instead taking him around the side of the shop, where a small crowd of what appeared to be staff was gathered around a table. Suzy audibly ground her teeth together when Marlene came storming out of the pack towards them. “I told you not to bring him! Suzy, he’ll be furious...”  
“No, he won’t! You know he won’t.”  
“He’s not ready...”  
“If he’s ready to open a restaurant then he’s ready for this!”  
However, their mindless bickering was the last thing on James’ mind at that moment. He removed himself from Suzy’s grip, and pushed past Marlene. He had seen who was standing in the middle of the group, hunched over a table and facing away from them. He’d know that posture anywhere. “ _Niki.” Niki, Niki, Niki!_ He wanted to scream it at the top of his voice, and run up behind Niki and grab him by the waist. He wanted to bury his head into Niki’s neck and inhale that delicious scent again. But then, when Niki turned around, all James wanted to do was collapse and be swallowed by the earth. Hidden beneath a cap, were some of the worst injuries James had ever seen. Niki’s entire forehead was covered in bandages, which were blotched with red and yellow smears. Half of his ear was gone, the rest of it crumpled and useless. His hair, _oh his wonderful hair,_ had been singed from his crown. All of a sudden, James couldn’t breathe.   
“Is it that bad?” Niki asked, and although he was trying to smile, his shaking voice betrayed him.   
“What? No! No, Niki. Oh, god. What happened? Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”  
Niki faltered. These were questions he clearly wasn’t prepared to answer just yet. “I crashed. After the concert, driving home, I collided with a lorry. My car blew up. I was in a coma for a week, and when I woke up I was dying. But I wasn’t ready, so I... I fought, I suppose. Now I’m here.”  
“Wait a minute,” James said, stepping forward to close the gap between them, “Are you trying to tell me that you were in a coma, on the brink of death, and within a month you’re attending a restaurant opening? God, I love you.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.   
“Excuse me?” Niki exclaimed, his ears turning pink. _God, James had missed that.  
_ “Well, that wasn’t how it was intended to come out. But I meant it all the same,” He murmured sincerely. He noticed Niki move ever so slightly closer. “Can I touch you?” James asked tentatively, beginning to lift his arm. After a few moments, Niki nodded, allowing James to place a hand on his good cheek. When he leaned into the touch, James sighed contentedly, and pulled Niki into a gentle embrace. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He whispered into his ear, closing his eyes and allowing himself to be lost in Niki’s warmth.  
“I was afraid. Telling you made the concept of leaving you behind even more real than it already was. I thought it would be easier for you if I just disappeared, one way or the other.”  
James huffed out a shocked breath, and squeezed Niki tightly, with hopes of pouring every last ounce of love and tenderness that he felt for him into the embrace, so perhaps Niki would finally know that he was the only person who James _never_ wanted to disappear.


	12. Burning Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know you've got something burning up inside,  
> It's so unhealthy but so good for me, oh!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN WEEKS. Ohhh boy I am bad. I just haven't been able to write! Ugh. Hey, if you haven't seen Love Actually, I highly recommend you try and find the beginning of the movie on YouTube or something - search "Hugh Grant monologue Love Actually," you'll probably find it. Yep you need it otherwise a small part of this chapter won't make much sense to you!
> 
> HEY ENJOY THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER OF O LOVER

_ 12: Burning Up _

                By the time the opening was over and done with, Niki’s nerves were so far beyond breaking point that he was surprised that he hadn’t collapsed. The combined stress of opening a new restaurant, entertaining a top chef with 3 Michelin stars to his name, and being in James’ company for the first time in a month was practically unbearable. He was so jumpy that he didn’t even say goodbye to James when the day ended, and ran off to catch a taxi home. As he sat in the back seat, his sinuses irritated by the smell of cheap car fresheners, he found himself missing his Mini. He missed having the ability to choose the radio station he wanted, rather than being forced to listen to abysmal dance music on Capital. More importantly, he missed the feeling of control that came from being behind the wheel.

                After paying the pathetically extortionate taxi fare, Niki trudged into his flat and made a beeline for his bedroom, collapsing face first on the bed and groaning loudly. Within a few minutes of wallowing, Niki’s phone was ringing. “ _Noo...”_ He whined, “I’m not here, go away.” Still, he fished his phone from his pocket and sat bolt upright when he noticed that the name on the screen was _Gordon (Work)._ He picked it up instantly, and held the phone to his ear. “Hello?” he tried to sound as upbeat as possible, but he wasn’t exactly talented at that on a good day.   
“Niki!” Gordon’s voice, always bold as brass, never ceased to terrify him. “Where’d you go? You ran off like you’d seen a ghost!”  
“I did, in a way. I’m sorry, I know you guys still have filming to do.”  
“Oh, fuck the filming. We have a whole week for that, and some very talented editors. I’m more bothered about you – you’ve been through way too much trauma to have gotten through today without any hiccups. Are you alright to come in for the dinner service tonight? Your restaurant needs you more than my camera crew.”  
Niki smiled solemnly at that. “Absolutely. I’ll come in early so you can do the post-opening interview you told me about – is 5 okay?”  
“5’s perfect. And service kicks off at half 7 as usual. I’ll see you there. Good luck.” A beeping sound began coming from the phone, indicating that Gordon had hung up. Niki fell back on the bed. That gave him four hours to get his head together, and make his way back to the restaurant. Niki had to admit, he felt terribly guilty for leaving in the first place – to an outside party like Gordon and his crew, it may have appeared that Niki had left because the trauma of the crash still hadn’t been fully overcame, but Niki knew that he’d ran off due to James turning up, and that was enough to make him feel entirely selfish, and slightly weak. However, he couldn’t deny the fact that the incredibly blasé confession of love James had blurted out had made Niki feel like he’d just been hit in the face by a blast of hot air powerful enough to knock him to the ground. He sighed heavily, and forced himself to stand up. Confession or no, Niki had a business to run. The business he had waited and saved six years for. If James really did feel the way he did, he would still be around after dinner service was over.

                But James Hunt was never known for his patience. Less than half an hour after Gordon’s phone call, Niki’s phone was vibrating again, this time with a text from James.   
“ _May have just lost my job,”_ It read, _“Is that a good enough excuse to come over with a movie?”  
“No.”  
“Shame, because I’m at your front door.”  
_ Niki faltered, nerves taking over him again. He wasn’t sure if he could handle being around James, let alone have James in his house watching a movie with him. Niki was old enough to know what _‘coming over for a movie’_ really meant, and he’d worked so hard to prevent himself from becoming another victim of James’ libido. But, one nagging thought wouldn’t leave the back of his mind – _James loved him._ And, at the end of it all, the bottom line was that Niki loved James back. It was time to stop being frightened of the unknown, he decided as he walked towards the door. True to his word, James was standing in the doorway, looking strangely demure as he looked embarrassedly at the copy of Love Actually he held in his hand. When Niki looked questionably at it, James exclaimed, “What? It’s good!” Before entering Niki’s house.   
“How did you find out my address?” Niki asked, although he knew the answer to that already.  
“Marlene.”  
“Traitor.”  
“Like you’re upset about it. Can we watch this? I want to disclose my sad life of unemployment to you.”  
Niki scoffed, “How long have you been unemployed?”  
“About five minutes.”  
“Then I’m sure you know all about how terrible it is. Sit down, I’ll sort the film.”   
James did as he was told, and made no secret of looking around Niki’s flat. Niki tried his best to ignore the fact that James Hunt was sitting on his couch while he popped the disc into the DVD player, but it was a difficult task. In an act of bravery, he plopped himself down next to James instead of fleeing to the armchair across the room.   
“Hey, where’s your dog? Thought you had a dog.”  
“I do – he’s being watched by one of my neighbours since I’m working today. I wasn’t meant to leave the restaurant, actually,” He said guiltily, looking at his knees to avoid making eye contact with James.   
“So are you home for the day?” James asks, apparently not judgemental of Niki’s behaviour at all.  
“No, I have to go back for the dinner service tonight. So we literally do only have time for the movie before I have to start getting ready to go,” He replied apologetically.   
“That’s fine – we actually have a table booked for tonight. It seems that Marlene was anticipating me gatecrashing the opening.”  
“That woman. I wouldn’t be surprised if she works for MI6, you know.”  
“She probably runs it.” They both laughed, the vital knife to slice the tension that was bubbling between them. Niki went from feeling unbearably uncomfortable, to feeling more at ease than he had felt in years. He tucked his knees up underneath him, and moved closer to James as he pressed ‘play’ on the remote. “So what happened with the job?” He asked softly, gently.  
“Oh, I didn’t necessarily get fired. We all did. Alexander’s money’s run out. We’re doing fine as a business, just... not good enough, I suppose. It’s a shame, but that’s the way it is.”   
Niki had nothing to say in return, so instead he tentatively closed the gap between them. James returns his kiss with something that feels more like adoration than desire, which makes it even better. “James?”  
“Mhm?”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, Niki.”

_“If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that **love, actually** , is all around.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

                An hour later, Niki is tucked safely into James’ side, with the other man gently twirling one of his ringlets around his finger. One of Niki’s favourite scenes was playing – the one where Sammy comes bounding out of Heathrow’s departure lounge after a desperate chase scene so that he could say one final goodbye to his Joanna, and leaps into the arms of his stepfather, who spins him around in glee – and when the music kicks in at _just the right moment,_ a couple of tears leak from Niki’s eyes. Movies were one of the rare things that could actually cause Niki to cry, for reasons which he could never really put his finger on. James seemed positively shocked by it, and exclaims, “Are you alright? Is it your eyes?”  
Niki pondered lying for a moment, saying that _yes, it was his eyes and he totally wasn’t crying at all,_ but he dismissed the thought. He shook his head.  
“So... does that mean you’re _crying?_ ”  
“Are you shocked?”  
“Well, yes! Imagine that. Niki Lauda cries at Love Actually. Wait until I tell everyone!” But the expression of soppy admiration on James’ face told Niki all that he needed to know, and he reached up to pull James’ face towards his own for another kiss.   
“You are so full of surprises,” James laughed as they broke away, “I don’t think I’ll ever stop being amazed by you.”  
“Nor I you,” Niki replied before he could stop himself. He took a deep breath when he realised that he’d truly passed the point of no return. “James,” He began, wetting his lips nervously, “Where are we going with this?”  
“Niki. I want to be perfectly clear on this. You are not another Suzy. You are not a no-namer, or a one-nighter. You are the most incredibly brave and beautiful creature I’ve ever met, and I don’t ever want to be out of your company again.”  
That stopped him. He fixed his gaze on James’ eyes; dark and sincere. Then he nodded his head, and pressed his lips to James’ neck.

                “It’s getting late. I should start getting ready.”  
“You have two hours! Don’t tell me that you spend all of that time doing your hair.”  
Niki stuck out his tongue, and pinched James’ thigh playfully. “I couldn’t do anything with this if I tried. No, I have to... I have to change my dressing.”  
James’ face fell. “Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“  
“No! No, I like the fact that you still take the piss. I’m sick of being treat like a porcelain doll. I’ve been through a crash, and now I have to change dressing while my skin graft heals. That’s the way it is.”  
“You’re incredible.”  
“Thanks, I guess,” Niki shot James a bashful smile, and made his way into the kitchen to get the massive first aid kit he’d been supplied with by the hospital upon his discharge.   
“Do you want me to help?” James had followed Niki, and was hovering gingerly behind him.  
“Well, it is pretty difficult if I do it on my own, but are you sure? It’s not pleasant.”  
“I can live with unpleasant. I’ve had to work with Clay’s moustache for two years.”  
Niki chuckled; he couldn’t argue with that. He sat himself down at the dining table, and dictated the procedure of bandage removal, tissue cleaning, and then bandage application to James with his usual meticulousness. Then, slowly, James moved to remove the first bandage. The pain was always unbearable, and Niki was never quite ready for the searing feeling of air coming into contact with his wounds. “ _Christ,”_ He hissed, squeezing his eyes shut and wincing.   
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. Should I go quicker?”  
“No, no,” Niki gasped, “This is fine. It hurts regardless. Just keep going.” He felt sudden warmth against his thighs, and realised that James was perched on his lap.   
“I’m here,” He said, and that was enough for Niki.


End file.
